Well, if you are me, you normally lose more than you win. I’m not so much lucky when it comes to competition- I blame the Girl Scouts for destroying my competitive spirit. Now, many may view the scouts to be a little fascist, paramilitary regime, but I enjoyed it for a time- saluting and all. You see, when I was a scout (like 22 years ago) was the last time I WON something. I must begin this tale with the cookies. I did NOT enjoy selling the cookies. You see, the prizes you got when selling the cookies were so very enticing, but they only went to the power sellers, and I lived in a neighborhood that was going through the cycle of having mostly old people and they didn’t take to kindly to me peddling my sweets (diabetics.) It broke down something like this: sell 50 boxes get the patch (no, not everyone that participated got the patch, you had to sell lots and lots of boxes) then sell 150 and get a stuffed toy, 250 boom box, 1000 new car…. whatever, the point is I rarely broke 100. My mom, who is a saint, was pissed about the entire system of awards (she would be correct into thinking it wasn’t fair for a Dad to take his kid’s sales sheet in to a big corporate office and make her sales for her and that everyone that participated should get the freakin’ patch at the very least.) So she bought something like 100 boxes from me each year then put me in uniform out in front of her Hallmark shop and I’d sell them from a card table (very wise my mother- I was very fortunate she used her mad marketing skillz to ensure that I would get that little scrap of fabric for my sash at the cookie awards ceremony.)
Then came the year of the dog. This stuffed dog that you only had to sell a billion boxes of cookies to get. Well, the dog had velcro on his belly concealing a hidden chamber, and when you are 8- you are all about the little girl secrets that could be concealed within the belly of a stuffed weiner dog. (You know, in actuality, this memory is a little more disturbing than I recall.) This particular year they had some prizes for the troop for randomly selected girls. (Which meant that Allison, the little nazi power seller, might not make off with every single prize that technically DADDY got her by intimidating his corporate minions into buying her smack. ) I won’t ever forget her. She was a smug little girl scout. Well, long story long, I won the dog that year and it was the sweetest, sweetest, most unexpected victory in the world.
Which (finally) brings me to the fact that I actually won something after a 22 year drought. One of my favorite bloggers is Cass at Shut Up I’m Counting. I won some darling little stitch markers with little sheep on them. (This is perfect for the girl that up until recently was using old wine glass charms, stray earrings and washers as stitch markers.) I entered the contest because this lady is damn funny and was asking for advice for her daughter’s birthday and for a suggestion for a pleasurable knit project, so I thought what the heck, I’ll type up a response- I’ve got something to say on all of that. Well I did and I won. Sweeeeeeeeeet - thanks so much for having the contest Cass!
And now to what I lost- I entered the Interweave Magnetic Poetry Contest about a million years ago with my little haiku. I didn’t win, but I’m okay with that because I never claimed to be much of a poet. However, I do have an observation, does any one else notice that all three winning poems make significant use of the word “rhythm”? Just an observation, not a qualitative evaluation or anything but the word positively screams out at me when reading each poem. Personally, I don’t care much for the word rhythm. I don’t hear “rhythm is going to get you” like most people, I tend to let my mind wander to “rhythm method” or “rhythmic gymnastics” or something sort of dirty and pulsating. Is it just me? Really? Well I don’t much care for the words rumba or rhombus either (but I do so like rum) I suppose it is some kind of weird, personal word association thing. Now I fear I’ve revealed too much.
Oh, and I had that stuffed dog for years until I took him to camp with me and filled his body cavity with jolly ranchers (not my most shining moment) and his insides became a sticky sweet feast for ants and I had to dispose of him. But the memory of my gigantic victory over Allison stays with me always. (YAY for victory!)
Hey, I’m one for two today. I think I’ll go and purchase a lottery ticket on my lunch break- tomorrow’s Mega Millions is up to 166 Million!
