May 8th, 2009 | 2 Comments »

I had some professional portraits of my Mother and Grandmother for a Mother’s Day gift this year. Now, the little old lady wasn’t really “into” it, she griped when I suggested the idea back in March. She bitched when I set the date last month, “I’m not going to buy any.” She complained when I told her what I thought she should wear (even though she asked me previously that week.) She grumped in the car on the way and almost to the moment we got out of the car at the site- “I don’t like to have my picture taken.” But for Fox, she was on her best behavior. In fact, the word ‘lovely’ might be applicable in this case and we were able to steal a few special moments like this one:

ammmm

(Mamama gets a cookie for being the only one looking at the camera and apparently being REALLY funny.) And another of my personal favorites, this is about right:

ammm1

I am truly blessed to have a talented photographer in the framily. I’m so glad that I made this happen, documenting our relationship in this way is going to be even more special and meaningful in the future (it’s special and meaningful now!) I highly recommend that if you have the slightest inclination to do a family portrait, go ahead and make it a reality immediately. You’ll thank yourself.

I also highly recommend that if you need a photographer, you call on my girl Fox at Celestial Photography in Gainesville. She has a gift, truly.

May 5th, 2009 | 3 Comments »

Fun Fact Number 1:

Mycurrent vehicle was purchased from an actual old lady and I like to drive it slowly anywhere I need to go. (I also will make 3 right turns to avoid turning left on a busy road or intersection, a point on which I was busted on just this very weekend by my man. He was very amused.)

Fun Fact Number 2:

THIS is one of my best friends:

Fun Fact Number 3:

I have cats. Errr, several, in fact.

Fun Fact Number 4:

I like to knit. If I were not employed, everything in the house would be donning some sort of ‘cozy’.

Fun Fact Number 5:

I listen to Neil Diamond (and I know all the words.) I sing Neil’s songs with wild abandon and without a care in the world nor any notice of the fact that I lack any discernible musical skill. (Love you, Neil.)

neil

Fun Fact Number 6:

I have a leopard print trench coat.

And I wear it.

Fun Fact Number 7:

I scare/surprise ridiculously easily. (Not sure that I should have shared that one.) I also side-seat drive like A LOT and make various noises of displeasure when Jeff makes vehicular maneuvers that aren’t the least bit old-ladyish.

Fun Fact Number 8:

I like to cook/bake and entertain with the primary purpose of feeding crowds of people, and when they are finished, I thrust more food upon them when they are already full. (Kind of exactly like this lady.)

Fun Fact Number 9:

I have *sob* gray hairs.

Fun Fact Number 10:

I like this song (and the new commercial that goes with it) quite a bit:

When I grow up, I want to be an Old Woman

In honor of Mother’s Day Week, go call or squeeze an old woman today. If you don’t have one, let me know, you can borrow one of mine- but I want her back in just as good or better condition I lent her.

UPDATE: I forgot my most interesting embarrassing LOL (little ol’ lady) factoid! I love infomercials and often buy things ‘as seen on tv.’ (Usually after a sleepless drunken night.) I’d love to have a Ronco Electric Food Dehydrator. I do so adore my Magic Bullet blender/drink maker. Admit it, you’d love to own a Sham Wow. You know you would. I’m pretty much Billy May’s bitch or, at least, I’d like to be.

My most recent items to come into my possession include: Not one but TWO Topsy Turvy Tomato Trees (Jeff got them for me for Easter. The plants are positively THRIVING, so more on the Topsy phenomenon to follow this summer!) A set of hair Bumpits (also working, so far, today) and the Smooth Away hair removal system -which Jeff says is just sandpaper that I could buy at Home Depot for a quarter and that I’m essentially sanding my arm hair and a layer of skin off in the delicate ‘removal’ process and that is why there is some slight “stinging” and mild skin irritation. I told him the infomercial says that it is ‘exfoliating’ for a nice smooth, hair free surface. The jury is still out.

November 23rd, 2008 | 2 Comments »

I snuck away if only for a moment… but even in my sneaky place (a.k.a my grandpa’s computer with the RIDICULOUSLY large screen and typeface) I can not avert attention. I am here. With my dad, my stepmom, my grandma, my grandpa, my auntie, and my uncle and my other auntie. I am maxed out with some Krollsteins. And Liquor. For reals. The only peace I get is the 2 mile walk I take every morning that is an absolute necessity because of all of the eating. The FOOD, you guys, I can’t even begin to describe it. I would try but the last time I did something greasy in this keyboard knocked out half a paragraph, so I won’t even attempt to remember what I said. It is bliss. Liquid, spicy, squooshy bliss and the backspace key is locked up with only what can be described as some exquisite residue from one of Dida’s former meals.

Okay, ew.

I forgot my camera, which sucks. I’m supposed to obtain some great pictures from my stepmom, so that is a relief. In this mix is a picture of an impossibly small dog (Puchacho) some impossibly drunk relatives (yes, I come by it honest) and photographic evidence of the moment where I somehow started a story about something tragic and scientific and tried to stop but was coerced into finishing and somehow said the word “erection” in front of my grandmother– as well as the look on both of our faces.

Update:

I suppose I have to elaborate on that later. If I even can do it justice, I must. I have enough material to last this blog a long, long, long time.

Tomorrow we’re going to the BEACH! Flagler? Daytona? I care not, I’m squooshing some sand in my toes and I can’t wait! Have a bitchin’ week and a Happy Thanksgiving y’all!

Posted in Outings, Personal
November 16th, 2008 | 3 Comments »

My great grandmother passed away a few days ago. I just found out about it today, word doesn’t travel so swiftly along the Kroll clan, my dad thought I knew already. I’m pretty sad about it, although she was 100 years and 10 months old and simply went to sleep surrounded by loved ones and there are worse ways to go, right? I met her only a few times, she didn’t like to travel too far from Tuscon but I called her and would always send her mother’s day cards and Christmas cards with crudely written sentiments in Spanish. Did I mention she was Mexican and didn’t speak any English? She was warm and funny and kind and the most amazing cook and I loved my Nina very, very much. I called and spoke to her back in July so I’m glad I got to tell her how much I loved her, well, the best I could, but I’m sure the message came through, sometimes the words aren’t so much important when the sentiment is there.

Here is a photo of her and my great grandfather:

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Posted in Personal
December 29th, 2007 | 2 Comments »

Christmas was a whirlwind of activity this year. Almost, I daresay, too much of one. On the Friday before Christmas I went to see family in Atlanta, and after a leisurely Saturday of holiday cheer with loved ones, all hell broke loose through Tuesday. Preparing the house for brunch, actually preparing the brunch, hosting brunch, Christmas Eve at my aunt’s (preceded by an ill-fated trip for some last-minute shopping with a hum-dinger of an argument with my man that was predominantly stress-influenced but sucky and exhausting at the worst possible time to have an argument even though I’m totally over it now, really I am) with Christmas morning at my Mom’s and then dinner at my Dad’s, followed by WORK on Wednesday, and excuse me, but what the frick is up with that?

I would rather gouge my eyes out than to try this again EVER. I have to move this year so I have an excuse to make people come to me or I need to pound it into my man’s head that seeing every single person on THE day or THE Eve is not only unnecessary but not such a good idea since we both have divorced families which raises our number of obligatory humans exponentially, and I’m SURE we can plan it better next time, please, please, oh please, dear God.

But it is the holidays and everyone is in misery, right? Along with the eye-gouging, hair-pulling, family togetherness- there are benefits to be reaped. You guys, I got YARN. Silk yarn. TWO kids of silk yarn (Art Yarns Silk Rhapsody and Handmaiden Seasilk, but I don’t want to brag.) And a tutu. A HOT PINK tutu. I also got a KitchenAid Artisan Mixer (from my honey)that I totally don’t deserve (I was planning on getting married solely for the purpose of registering for the likes of this mixer and now sadly, that won’t be necessary- unless the attachments are anywhere near as expensive as the unit itself…) Oops and Elvis. But I think I need to devote an entire post to my Elvis gift I received from Dad and Linda this year, I just can’t explain it with any acceptable amount of brevity.

Other lovely things came from lovely people and I did actually really enjoy myself once I physically got to all of the destinations. Also, I never properly blogged about the Falala Bash- the third annual Falala Bash was held again this year at the wonderful Chez Whidden (everyone, give some love to the Whiddens for opening their house to us once again for festivities!) Photos from the par-tay are HERE. (We expanded the ugly sweater contest this year to include all things Christmas, Jeff was Jack Frost from the Santa Clause and I was Ralphie in the pink bunny pajamas from a Christmas Story.) Y’all, we collected around 60 gifts for Toys for Tots this year instead of having a gift swap, so there was drunken debauchery to be had by all- balls of meat, meat in blankets, and Fala-lattes- a concoction of rum, eggnog, coffee and rum, with a side of altruism. A well-balanced party.

Okay, on to today. I skipped some stuff, well, possibly lots of stuff, like finished knitting content from the holidays that I really should address sometime, but it is my blog and I’m drinking wine and well, whatever, and if you don’t like it you can either read someone else or bite me, whichever you prefer.

I went knitting at Susan’s lovely home today. She has dogs. Lots and lots of dogs. Three lap dogs (two with sweaters) and the biggest farking great dane I’ve ever seen. Not to mention, y’all, she has donkeys. FOUR adorable donkeys. I just so happen to LOVE donkeys. I don’t know why. They’re sweet and they are little and they are donkeys, how can you not love this?

Well, the rest of this holiday season, will, alas, be a blur. Jeff built me a new book case to house my craft/knit/cook books so after it dries we get to reorganize the apartment (wheee!) So, Happy New Year. Squeeze the one you love and much peace, happiness and bounty to you and yours in the new year. Oh, and yarn. And wine. Let me rephrase, MUCH peace, love, happiness and bountiful yarn and wine to you and yours this NEW year!

Posted in Outings, Personal