November 15th, 2010 | 1 Comment »

We’re finally living in the main floor of the new house! I’m elated. There is still sooooooooooooo much work to be done, but we’re out of the subterranean, basement “love nest” at long last.  And it is beautiful. It is magical. It is almost perfect.

Almost.

You see, I have a beef with this guy:

Apparently I can sleep through just about anything. Trains, cars, sirens, horns honking. I am a sound sleeper.  But the wayward chickens that our neighbor just allows to roam about wake me at 4:30 or 5:00 every day now. EVERY STINKIN DAY.

No one told them about daylight savings time either. It is slowly driving me insane because, folks, I like to sleep. Can sleeping be a hobby? I love that delicious little 10 minutes every morning after I hit “snooze.” Sometimes I like it so much, I do it 3 times.

I’ve never killed anything before, but this guy has it coming. I rolled over the other day and asked Jeff where the gun was. Not that I could actually hit anything I shot at, not that shooting something is even an option for me, but I have rooster murder on the brain lately.

I hear grilled rooster is tasty.

I’m the worst “country girl” ever.

September 13th, 2010 | 4 Comments »

So we had a run-in last week while in Atlanta for Dragon*Con and it is truly mind boggling that this is actually a common occurrence and can happen to anyone. Where truth and justice failed us, maybe you can be warned.

Jeff and I visited a convention in Atlanta on Sunday, September 5th. We parked in the Harris Street Lot run by EPS (Empire Parking Services) on the corner of Harris Street and Peachtree Center. We paid $20 fee at approximately 2:00 PM for the privilege of parking adjacent to the convention. That pass was not to expire until 3:00 AM on September 6th. When we left the convention at midnight, we found TWO boots on our car. We called the technician, he said we were booted somewhere around 7:30 or 8:00 PM that evening.  When we asked why, as our time had obviously not expired, the technician claimed we moved our car, yet could not provide any evidence of any kind other than the statement that the “hood felt hot.”

We came to Atlanta for the sole purpose of visiting the convention. We can create a time line of all of our activities through receipts and bills of sale. We were within three blocks of the lot the entire day. Further, with nearly 40,000 people in attendance on this date and people circling for parking spaces, it would have been statistically impossible to move the vehicle and return it to stall number 64 within the time period he described. We challenged him and he told us to call the police but he was not going to remove the boot. Once the officer arrived, the technician changed his story and said the wheels were hot, indicating the car had been driven off the lot. This is probably the stupidest thing ever uttered by a human being ever. It was a hot day, I’m guessing that just about anything sitting in the sun would have felt “hot”.

The officer corroborated our claim, it was glaringly obvious that we had not moved the vehicle all day long.  The most compelling evidence is utterly disgusting, but it was the accumulation of bird droppings on all of the cars parked along the edge of the lot. If we had moved the car, the windshield would have needed to be cleaned to even see out of it safely. But no, it reflected the same amount of filth as all the surrounding cars that had been there for the past 10-12 hours.

The next representative of the parking company that arrived on the scene said that it was a private lot, he would not remove the boot, proof or no proof, and we were free to sue them. What an a$$hole! We filed a police report and I paid the additional $75 fee under extreme duress. So far I have not been able to dispute the charge with my credit card company as I willingly gave the card and paid for the service of boot removal, which is exactly what I got. What a scam, right?

What is truly irritating is that in my research I have found that this sort of predatory and unlawful booting is not only very common with EPS but the police can’t do anything about it! Also, here is the clincher, someone has to actually hire this company to provide lot services, and that is normally an adjacent business.  So who employs them? Is it the Hotels? The mall?

You can read more of the same sort of complaint here,and here and here.  There is even one where this company booted people of color and let all the “Americans” go free. So on top of being liars and con artists, they are bigots too.  Isn’t that just lovely?

It really isn’t the money so much as the time that I was being illegally held against my will that gets to me. Booting should be illegal, plain and simple. A private company should not be allowed to act as judge and jury without any monitoring, the customer has zero rights here.  (See more on the topic and how it is a violation of 4th Amendment rights on www.fighttheboot.com)

I will only park in a deck from now on. You can’t be accused of cheating a deck. Push button, get ticket, arm goes up, pay for your car on exit. Repeat as necessary.

Oh, and while you are in Atlanta, be on the look out for this scumbag:

dbag

“Michael” or “Brian”- pudgy, bald, lying SOB.

Posted in Tirade
March 9th, 2010 | 1 Comment »

Warning, crude language and misuse of quality curses:

This morning I started the complaint process with a vendor that misrepresented a download of a probably pirated textbook. I’m cheap, and trying to go green and it is an accounting book for a class I’m merely auditing, I thought a digital copy would be, I don’t know, convenient?

Me:

I thought that this was going to be the textbook, (Textbook Title Here.)

Instead, this was the powerpoint presentation for the chapters, which is not entirely useful to me.

I would like a refund please.

Sincerely,

Moi

Them:

hi,you bought the files is not powerpoint presentation for the chapters,it is solution manual or test bank for textbook.

Me:

I understand that now, but it was presented as the textbook.

Am I going to get a refund or am I going to have to take it up with Pay Pal?

Them:

This files is consistent with the description, the product description said it is solution manual or test bank, not textbook,you should see the description before buying, so you agree the describe before you purchase, my file is correct and complete. What you are saying is just an excuse.

Me:

Ok, so insulting your customers is the way you do business and customer satisfaction is not important to you at all.

I will take it up with paypal or my credit card company if necessary (you see, I’ve been a good customer to both organizations and they DO care about how merchants treat me.)

Thank you for being absolutely NO help at all, and have a lovely day.

(Opens PayPal dispute)

Them:

i know you are liar,you steal my files.fuck your mother,watever asshole.

and:

i know you are liar,you steal my files.fuck your mother,watever asshole. i will win,I strongly do not refund, you are an idiot.go away,fuck.

Me:

I didn’t steal your files, they are readily available online.

Also, sir, you may want to be aware that the publisher of this book has no idea you are selling these files.

You should watch yourself. This is no way to do business.

And if you have to resort to cursing and name calling, I’ve already won.

Have a lovely day.

Them:

You are an idiot, the world is on you this idiot, you are a bastard, well, I will give you a refund within 24 hours, you are an idiot. I am a smart person.

I’m comforted that I’m dealing with a smart person here. This would have been a real nightmare otherwise.

Turns out that PayPal does not protect buyers of “Virtual Goods” so I’m most likely out the money  anyways unless CitiCards saves the day or by some miracle the choad actually refunds my money.

Lesson learned.

March 8th, 2010 | No Comments »

nds

Posted in Personal, Tirade
February 25th, 2010 | 2 Comments »

This came in yesterday:

aarp

Then my grandpa sent me 4 emails this morning on how to get rid of wrinkles.

Is someone trying to tell me something?

I know that I have established that I may be a little old lady already, but seriously? AA-frickin-R-P?

July 27th, 2009 | 3 Comments »

I’m a fan of bangs… again. Seems that bangs come in and out of my life like the ebb and flow of the tide, like the waxing and waning of the moon, like something else poetic and pithy.

Sometimes bangs work, sometimes they don’t and I am the victim of a ‘bang intervention.’ Sometimes they were permed and pressed and teased, sometimes they are awkwardly short (or dreadfully long and dusting one’s eyelashes) and sometimes, friends, sometimes they were shorn by someone of ill experience. Yes, I’ve botched my own bang trim in the attempt to achieve something ‘pixie’ and ended up with a mess, but I was in college at the time and both confident as well as poor… but now I am referring to the “MOM CUT.”

Going through photos at my grandmother’s recently I stumbled across this one. I noticed the bangs straight away.

“Uh, Mom, did you happen to cut my hair as a child?”

to which she responded: “Yes. Why do you ask?”

“Er, no reason in particular.”

Exhibit A:

bangs1

Like one inch of hair across my forhead, lopsided and what is that little dangling ‘chad’ thing on the left? Me thinks she missed a spot.

She didn’t get much better with time either.

Exhibit B:

bangs21

I think she had a problem with the left side, what is that?

In her defense, I think she studied bang trimming in the school of her mother.

Exhibit C:

bangs3

The prosecution rests. It would seem my mother executed the bang trim MUCH much better hers did so all is forgiven. But it would also appear that the left side was problematic to all.

Now what did we learn today? Unless professionally trained to do so, do not, I repeat DO NOT trim one’s own hair or that of a small, vulnerable child.

Fortunately, my hairdresser gives out free bang trims between visits to avoid just such a catastrophe.

Tags: , ,
May 5th, 2009 | 3 Comments »

Fun Fact Number 1:

Mycurrent vehicle was purchased from an actual old lady and I like to drive it slowly anywhere I need to go. (I also will make 3 right turns to avoid turning left on a busy road or intersection, a point on which I was busted on just this very weekend by my man. He was very amused.)

Fun Fact Number 2:

THIS is one of my best friends:

Fun Fact Number 3:

I have cats. Errr, several, in fact.

Fun Fact Number 4:

I like to knit. If I were not employed, everything in the house would be donning some sort of ‘cozy’.

Fun Fact Number 5:

I listen to Neil Diamond (and I know all the words.) I sing Neil’s songs with wild abandon and without a care in the world nor any notice of the fact that I lack any discernible musical skill. (Love you, Neil.)

neil

Fun Fact Number 6:

I have a leopard print trench coat.

And I wear it.

Fun Fact Number 7:

I scare/surprise ridiculously easily. (Not sure that I should have shared that one.) I also side-seat drive like A LOT and make various noises of displeasure when Jeff makes vehicular maneuvers that aren’t the least bit old-ladyish.

Fun Fact Number 8:

I like to cook/bake and entertain with the primary purpose of feeding crowds of people, and when they are finished, I thrust more food upon them when they are already full. (Kind of exactly like this lady.)

Fun Fact Number 9:

I have *sob* gray hairs.

Fun Fact Number 10:

I like this song (and the new commercial that goes with it) quite a bit:

When I grow up, I want to be an Old Woman

In honor of Mother’s Day Week, go call or squeeze an old woman today. If you don’t have one, let me know, you can borrow one of mine- but I want her back in just as good or better condition I lent her.

UPDATE: I forgot my most interesting embarrassing LOL (little ol’ lady) factoid! I love infomercials and often buy things ‘as seen on tv.’ (Usually after a sleepless drunken night.) I’d love to have a Ronco Electric Food Dehydrator. I do so adore my Magic Bullet blender/drink maker. Admit it, you’d love to own a Sham Wow. You know you would. I’m pretty much Billy May’s bitch or, at least, I’d like to be.

My most recent items to come into my possession include: Not one but TWO Topsy Turvy Tomato Trees (Jeff got them for me for Easter. The plants are positively THRIVING, so more on the Topsy phenomenon to follow this summer!) A set of hair Bumpits (also working, so far, today) and the Smooth Away hair removal system -which Jeff says is just sandpaper that I could buy at Home Depot for a quarter and that I’m essentially sanding my arm hair and a layer of skin off in the delicate ‘removal’ process and that is why there is some slight “stinging” and mild skin irritation. I told him the infomercial says that it is ‘exfoliating’ for a nice smooth, hair free surface. The jury is still out.

November 3rd, 2008 | 2 Comments »

I had fun on Halloween (but let’s face it, I always do.) Check out my photos at flickr- it is sort of a hodge-podge of the events that spanned over two days. On actual Halloween I tagged along with the boys to witness the debut of this:

Yes. That would be the tiniest storm trooper costume ever made. He was very cute. Er- I mean- scary. Storm troopers are BAD guys so he was fearsome. Yes. very, very intimidating. I was quivering in my Ziggy Stardust boots (I threw Ziggy together at the last minute because I didn’t want to wear my other costume yet and to see if I could.)

Here is my costume from Saturday- I was Jackie O. (My hat is a padded oatmeal box because that’s how I roll.) Mom helped me sew this last week.

There were many other good costumes this year. I saw two girls dressed as Richard Simmons (?) and my mother made a Cher costume.

Could you die? How funny is THAT?! Yes, my pop was Sonny complete with furry vest. I could go on and on about this, but I won’t. Being pressed for time and all.

Oh, so that brings me to the scary news. I’ve heard through the grapevine that my gym is closing. Wait! It gets worse! My gym is closing and merging with another gym nearby AND the teachers of the classes I love can’t teach at the new location because they don’t provide Les Mills classes. Which is a load of crap, but whatever.

Wait! If you can take it, it gets even worse. A certain unsavory individual that I have been fortunate enough not to run into (…yet) I believe is a member of the gym where mine is expected to “merge.” My biggest fear is that there will be much hair-pulling and potential blood shed if I am ever faced with a scenario where I would be confronted with her, particularly while adrenaline is pumping. I would like to think that I could rise above the situation -folks, it would be much more likely to end with an eye-narrowing contest- but the part of me that is still royally pissed (the part that believes I’d be fully justified in whooping some ass) would rather simply avoid the situation all together if at all possible.

I have no idea what sort of rights I’ve signed away or what this merging will ultimately mean to me, but I do know that the gym has been my sanctuary and I will not risk it being tainted by having to submit myself to the presence of… well… someone icky. Any creative ideas for getting out of a gym membership? I know they charge my credit card monthly and I can simply cancel the card and be done with it but I’d prefer to be released from my contract free and clear. I might have to go to the doctor and develop some sort of “condition.” I sure hate to lie but I may be without options here.

October 31st, 2008 | No Comments »

The good (from Craft):

“Thank you for your email.  I apologize that you have received a damaged issue.  I will have a replacement sent out to you.  It should arrive within 7-10 days.”

…and then the generic (from RCA):

“Thank you for your inquiry concerning the design and quality of your product.     Consumer satisfaction is very important to us and we continually strive to provide the best consumer electronics products available. We regret you are not pleased with your product. We invest substantial resources in market research to develop products that meet consumer needs and expectations.     We are continually finding ways to improve reliability, designs, product quality, and professional service.     Your comments are appreciated, and we thank you for taking your valuable time to contact us.”

Well, at least customer satisfaction is important to them and my comments are appreciated.

I’ll sleep well tonight knowing that. And I’m sure Mamama will rest assured that her money was well spent a year ago on that crappy t.v. because they’ve invested substantial resources to meet her consumer needs.

Oh, and Happy Halloween!

October 30th, 2008 | No Comments »

So, I didn’t take a full lunch break today (and let’s be honest I never do) in part to write some very well deserved nasty grams. Now I’m a firm believer in the rights of the consumer when being thwarted by big business, but I’m not much of a complainer, really I’m not. I don’t like to send things back in restaurants and I abhor people that complain seemingly for the purpose of getting something for free. (Although I did get a free month of internet service from Charter because of the power of the blog… but I digress.)

I believe it isn’t fair being mad at someone and not telling them why and I believe this to be equally true when dealing with giant corporate monsters too. You don’t get to have a beef if you aren’t willing on giving someone some opportunity to do the right thing, and honestly, if I were a business owner I would like to know if there were a complaint. I like to take care of the little guy. This time the little guy is my grandmother. I’ll let this nastygram speak for itself. Read the rest of this entry »