October 24th, 2012 | No Comments »

Has anyone ever heard of the “sweater curse“? It is well-known knitter folklore, that if you knit a sweater for a boyfriend that the relationship is doomed to failure. Probably because knitting clothing for anyone other than a baby (small stuff) or yourself is a real chore.

I’d avoided knitting him a sweater for YEARS because of this curse. I’ve made hats, gloves, scarves- you name it- but never a sweater.  I’ve been Footloose and Fancy-Free and clear avoiding the dreaded sweater.

Then came the day that he reminded me that he’d made an honest woman out of me. (blink blink)

We were married two years ago and dammit the man wants his sweater.

I couldn’t dodge this bullet for much longer.

So I devised a MARVELOUS pull over, the “Cobra” from Son of Stitch and Bitch. A worsted weight boxy, forgiving shape that would be a breeze, right?

That was until I had the great idea to incorporate Star Wars shit. Yup, some nerdy-nerd came up with a fair isle chart for star wars. Once I mentioned it to him, there was no going back.

So I had to learn how to knit fair isle…and it’s not really easy to do so.

I’ve been working on this on and off since JUNE:

nerd sweater

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Do you want a closer look???

nerdy nerd nerd

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yes! Success!!! If I can make another one exactly like it, we’re in business.

And he’d better wear it all.winter.long.

1. Because if he’d let me knit a sweater vest, I’d be finished by now.

2.  Because the yarn calculations in this thing are WAY off and I’ve dropped over $100 in washable wool.

3. Because I’m going to also have to learn how to install a zipper. Any ideas?

4. Because it is a freakin’ sweater for a 40 something year old man with STORM TROOPERS on it.

Enough said.

 

 

Posted in Personal
February 24th, 2011 | No Comments »

I just made this and I can’t stand it, I’m going to make another. Maybe two. Who knows.

Her belly is a TENNIS BALL. Again, so cute I really just can hardly stand it.

The free patern is on Ravelry or can be found HERE.

Posted in Knitting
February 15th, 2011 | 4 Comments »

Ok, so I haven’t posted much since NOVEMBER. I don’t know what to say other than I have been helping to renovate our new home, fretting over the holiday celebrations therein and all in all a baaaaad blogger.

I doubt I have a reader in the world, other than mom, and Babs, ok, and my husband.

That is something that I have been made acutely aware that I never posted!  I done got married on October 3rd.

It was a great day and this would be my favorite picture:

Ok, seriously, maybe this is my favorite picture:

Here is the link to our photo album.

I am constantly asked, almost every day the same question: “SOOOOOOO, How is married life?”

Now what am I supposed to say about that?

After four months, all I can think of  is “WELLLLLLL, it is a lot like shackin’.”

Blank stare, “Pardon???”

“I said, we like the Colonel’s Chicken”.

No, I didn’t actually say this.

Ok, yes, of course I did.

Shakes head vigorously from side to side.

Nods in affirmation knowingly.

I think I may need a nap.

What else?  Well, there are babies falling out of the sky in my world, not me, but there are people having little ones left and right. And I love it, I love it so much. Not much time for knitting, though, my world is busy. I tell the husbeast that the house is almost three times bigger than the apartment and cleaning it is SUCH a chore. I don’t think it is possible for all rooms to be clean at one time, it is just inconceivable!

That is all for now.

Posted in Personal
November 15th, 2010 | 1 Comment »

We’re finally living in the main floor of the new house! I’m elated. There is still sooooooooooooo much work to be done, but we’re out of the subterranean, basement “love nest” at long last.  And it is beautiful. It is magical. It is almost perfect.

Almost.

You see, I have a beef with this guy:

Apparently I can sleep through just about anything. Trains, cars, sirens, horns honking. I am a sound sleeper.  But the wayward chickens that our neighbor just allows to roam about wake me at 4:30 or 5:00 every day now. EVERY STINKIN DAY.

No one told them about daylight savings time either. It is slowly driving me insane because, folks, I like to sleep. Can sleeping be a hobby? I love that delicious little 10 minutes every morning after I hit “snooze.” Sometimes I like it so much, I do it 3 times.

I’ve never killed anything before, but this guy has it coming. I rolled over the other day and asked Jeff where the gun was. Not that I could actually hit anything I shot at, not that shooting something is even an option for me, but I have rooster murder on the brain lately.

I hear grilled rooster is tasty.

I’m the worst “country girl” ever.

September 23rd, 2010 | No Comments »

I got a call today from the manager (owner?) at Empire Parking Services. You see, I put my rant into a pretty tidy little nastygram and sent it certified mail to all of the locations listed for the business. “Chris” was actually very nice, professional and asked me what happened. I relayed the story to him in gory detail about how, basically, his technician was a liar-liar-pants-on-fire. Turns out, this guy didn’t follow protocol. Tires of all vehicles with a valid ticket are supposed to be chalked. You can’t just say “your hood was hot” or “your wheels were hot” and boot somebody. He is also going to look into these employees. Because they were rude on top of being liars.

Now, I had requested a full refund, $75 boot removal and the $20 parking fee as I felt I was wrongly accused and held hostage for an hour. He wouldn’t refund the full $95 but will be sending me a check for the boot removal. I’m satisfied, I suppose. Although I spent an additional $15 for certified mail, and numerous days spent fuming over the matter, but it was the principle after all, not the money. Hopefully the check will come and clear and we’ll be done with it. But I wonder, is not taking them to court allowing the company to proceed in this manner? Do they count on the fact that most people, unlike myself, normally just get on with their lives. But no, I had to have my justice.

The moral of this story, children, is don’t park in a parking lot- use a deck whenever possible. Push button. Get ticket. Pay to leave, it is that simple.

Posted in Personal
September 13th, 2010 | 4 Comments »

So we had a run-in last week while in Atlanta for Dragon*Con and it is truly mind boggling that this is actually a common occurrence and can happen to anyone. Where truth and justice failed us, maybe you can be warned.

Jeff and I visited a convention in Atlanta on Sunday, September 5th. We parked in the Harris Street Lot run by EPS (Empire Parking Services) on the corner of Harris Street and Peachtree Center. We paid $20 fee at approximately 2:00 PM for the privilege of parking adjacent to the convention. That pass was not to expire until 3:00 AM on September 6th. When we left the convention at midnight, we found TWO boots on our car. We called the technician, he said we were booted somewhere around 7:30 or 8:00 PM that evening.  When we asked why, as our time had obviously not expired, the technician claimed we moved our car, yet could not provide any evidence of any kind other than the statement that the “hood felt hot.”

We came to Atlanta for the sole purpose of visiting the convention. We can create a time line of all of our activities through receipts and bills of sale. We were within three blocks of the lot the entire day. Further, with nearly 40,000 people in attendance on this date and people circling for parking spaces, it would have been statistically impossible to move the vehicle and return it to stall number 64 within the time period he described. We challenged him and he told us to call the police but he was not going to remove the boot. Once the officer arrived, the technician changed his story and said the wheels were hot, indicating the car had been driven off the lot. This is probably the stupidest thing ever uttered by a human being ever. It was a hot day, I’m guessing that just about anything sitting in the sun would have felt “hot”.

The officer corroborated our claim, it was glaringly obvious that we had not moved the vehicle all day long.  The most compelling evidence is utterly disgusting, but it was the accumulation of bird droppings on all of the cars parked along the edge of the lot. If we had moved the car, the windshield would have needed to be cleaned to even see out of it safely. But no, it reflected the same amount of filth as all the surrounding cars that had been there for the past 10-12 hours.

The next representative of the parking company that arrived on the scene said that it was a private lot, he would not remove the boot, proof or no proof, and we were free to sue them. What an a$$hole! We filed a police report and I paid the additional $75 fee under extreme duress. So far I have not been able to dispute the charge with my credit card company as I willingly gave the card and paid for the service of boot removal, which is exactly what I got. What a scam, right?

What is truly irritating is that in my research I have found that this sort of predatory and unlawful booting is not only very common with EPS but the police can’t do anything about it! Also, here is the clincher, someone has to actually hire this company to provide lot services, and that is normally an adjacent business.  So who employs them? Is it the Hotels? The mall?

You can read more of the same sort of complaint here,and here and here.  There is even one where this company booted people of color and let all the “Americans” go free. So on top of being liars and con artists, they are bigots too.  Isn’t that just lovely?

It really isn’t the money so much as the time that I was being illegally held against my will that gets to me. Booting should be illegal, plain and simple. A private company should not be allowed to act as judge and jury without any monitoring, the customer has zero rights here.  (See more on the topic and how it is a violation of 4th Amendment rights on www.fighttheboot.com)

I will only park in a deck from now on. You can’t be accused of cheating a deck. Push button, get ticket, arm goes up, pay for your car on exit. Repeat as necessary.

Oh, and while you are in Atlanta, be on the look out for this scumbag:

dbag

“Michael” or “Brian”- pudgy, bald, lying SOB.

Posted in Tirade
September 2nd, 2010 | No Comments »

Engagement photos by the talented, beautiful and dazzling Fox of Celestial Studios fame.

j&aphoto4

I had them made into our guestbook. It is bitchin’.

j&aphoto

I think I’m coming down with something icky in my throat.   Feh.

Posted in Personal
August 23rd, 2010 | 1 Comment »

When I have little time or nothing worthwhile to write about, I’ll just post a cat picture.

Why not.

There is never a shortage of cats, apparently.

This is a rescue kitty that went to live with my mother earlier this year. Someone just threw her out at the Walgreen’s in town. (Sometimes I really don’t understand human behavior.) Her name is Miss Emma Jean, and she apparently rules the house.

Emma 1

I love it, she’s all “What’s up? Yeah, that’s right, I’m on the table. You gonna do something about it? Give it your best shot”

Posted in Kitties
August 19th, 2010 | No Comments »

So, did I happen to mention we moved? We’re at least in the house. Living in the basement apartment in what I’ve affectionately learned to call our “love nest.”  Grandmother tells me that we are, in fact, living in “sin.” But since the wedding is only 6 short weeks away, it is really a sinlet. Barely a blemish on my permanent record, really now.

That’s okay, I think she approves.

mmm&j

Oh, in other news… I found my knitting bag. Behind the dollhouse under the mountain of unopened boxes.

I miss my toaster.  I want waffles.

July 2nd, 2010 | 1 Comment »

We have obtained permits and the new renovation shall commence Tuesday! I’ve given my notice to the landlords, which is like breaking up with someone, and now we are all systems go! If anyone would like to lift something heavy down some stairs this July or pack a box or even UNPACK a box, please let me know.

Okay. So because that is all I have to say about that, I will continue broadcasting with some very interesting information that you may not have known about my cat.

This is Daisy Fuentes.

She is our cat and she only speaks Spanish, which can be difficult sometimes when things get lost in translation. Like “Daisy, per favor, please don’t sleep on the counter.”  She misunderstands.  She was a barn kitty. Jeff found her- she had to be fed with a little eyedropper and she used to look like this:

Let me be clear, we were NOT SUPPOSED TO KEEP HER. But somewhere along the way, I lost control of the situation- as I am sometimes prone to do- and she stayed. Now she is sorta funny lookin’ now so we have to keep her. Good thing we have a bigger house.  She also likes to do stuff like this:

Weird cat. She doesn’t like to be held or for you to pet her. She pets herself. Simply leave your hand or foot still and she does things the way she likes to when it is totally her idea, she doesn’t like to be told what to do.  Sound familiar? I don’t know anyone like that at all.

So that is the story of Daisy Fuentes. How she came into our lives, stuck around, caused some trouble and inspired us to brush up on our espanol.